


In Name Only

by Winchesterprincessbride



Series: In Name Only [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 11:19:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16871980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchesterprincessbride/pseuds/Winchesterprincessbride
Summary: The Winchesters are the richest family in your hometown of Lawrence, Kansas. John Winchester has his hands in just about everything in town. Oldest son Dean helps his father run the company. Younger son Sam wants nothing to do with the family business and is constantly getting in trouble. Your parents have just died and you find out that your father owed John Winchester a LOT of money





	1. Chapter 1

John Winchester sat in his office late on a Friday night doing paperwork with a tumbler of aged bourbon and a Cuban cigar. His cell phone rang, breaking his concentration. When he saw the name, he cursed under his breath. This wouldn’t be good news.

“Hey Jody. What can I do for you?” John asked.

Jody Mills, the sheriff of Lawrence, didn’t waste time with pleasantries. “I need you to come down to the station. We have a BIG problem.”

John sighed with annoyance. He was tired of getting these calls. “What did he do now and how much is it gonna cost me to clean it up?”

“Just come John. I don’t know if you can fix this one.” Jody replied in her no-nonsense voice before hanging up.

John rubbed his hand over his eyes tiredly and dialed another number. “Hey Dean, it’s Dad. Meet me at Jody’s office. Your brother’s managed to get himself arrested again.”

 

You sat in your father’s home office in his worn leather chair surrounded by his books and you had never felt more alone.

If someone had told you a week ago that you would be back in Lawrence, you would have laughed. You had sworn you would never come back here.

Now your parents were dead, and you were solely responsible for Amy. Damn that drunk driver! The last place you wanted to be was here. Too many bad memories.

The funeral had been Wednesday, and yesterday you had met with your Dad’s lawyer.

As you’d expected, he and Mom had left everything to you and Amy. What came as a surprise was the huge amount of money Dad owed John Winchester. The salvage yard had been bleeding money for years, and Dad had made some bad business decisions, including borrowing a huge amount from John. You had no idea how you were going to pay it back.

John and Dean walked into the Lawrence Police Station where Jody was waiting. “So what did he do, Jody?” Dean asked.

“One of my deputies saw him driving eratically , and he wrapped his Ferrari around a telephone pole. Molly Weathers was with him. She has a broken arm and a broken leg. He blew a .24 blood alcohol at the scene. Her parents are threatening to sue.”

John and Dean looked at each other. “Can we see him?” They asked.

Jody nodded without replying and led them to the back of the station where the holding cells were. They knew this walk well. This wasn’t the first time they had been down here because Sam was in trouble.

Sam was in the last cell stretched out on his back either sleeping or passed out. His shirt was torn, his face was bloody and he had a black eye. Jody unlocked the door and Dean went in, smacking Sam upside the head. “Wake up, asshole.” He growled.

“Sam, get up son.” John said in a deathly quiet voice.

Sam opened one eye and when he saw his father and brother standing over him with furious expressions on their faces he sat up.

“Your car’s totalled.” Dean told him.

“More importantly, you were driving drunk and now Molly Weathers has a broken arm and leg. Her parents are threatening to sue! What were you doing with her anyway? She’s way too young for you!” John demanded.

“She’s hot.” Sam answered, shrugging his shoulders.

“And as dumb as a box of rocks.” Jody commented. “I can release him to your custody John, but he’s gonna get charged with a DUI. I can’t do anything about that. Maybe you can work something out with her parents.

John nodded wearily.

“And you, Mister.” Jody said, jabbing Sam in the chest. “This combined with all the other shit you’ve pulled over the years….you may be looking at some jail time. Give me a few minutes to process the paperwork and you can take him.”

Sam looked surprised when he heard the word “jail”. “Wait, jail?”

“Did you really think you could screw up constantly and it wouldn’t eventually come back to bite you in the ass?” Dean snapped. Now if you don’t mind, I would like to get home to my wife eventually.“

“Dean, would you mind taking your brother home while I try and calm Molly’s parents down?” John asked.

“Fine.” Dean snapped, clearly annoyed..

Sam stumbled down the steps of the station and got into Dean’s ‘67 Impala. Neither said anything. You could cut the tension with a knife. Finally Dean spoke. “So does your latest episode of stupidity have anything to do with the fact that Y/N Singer is back in town?”

Sam gave his brother a black look. “Screw you, Dean.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam woke up the next morning with the mother of all hangovers. Every bone in his body ached. Then he remembered the previous night. The car accident. Jail. His father’s anger. Dean’s snarky comment about Y/N Singer. He sighed. Y/N. The one who had gotten away. The girl who had broken his heart.

You had been getting through the past week on caffeine and sheer will. Sleep was non-existent. The thought of living in Lawrence again made your gut clench, but you just couldn’t uproot Amy from everything she knew right now. You worked from home, so you were stuck in Lawrence for the time being.

Your mind kept going back to the meeting with the lawyer. Even if you sold the salvage yard and the house it still wouldn’t be enough to cover the money your Dad owed John Winchester. Damn those Winchesters! Even now nine years later they were still ruining your life. There was just no getting away from them.

Sam knew he was going to have to face the music. He had done the walk of shame to his fathers office more times than he could count. John had spent a small fortune bailing him out of jail. Underage drinking, vandalism, resisting arrest, bar fights, driving with a suspended license, the list went on and on.

Sam entered his father’s office, anxious to get the tongue-lashing over with. Billie, John’s long-suffering secretary eyed him with displeasure. Obviously she had already heard. “Your lucky you didn’t kill that girl! When will you learn?“ She spat at him.

“I……” Sam began.

“Your father is waiting for you! Get out of my sight!” Billie snapped.

 

You had called John Winchester’s office and scheduled a meeting for later that week. You may be twenty-five now, but you still remembered like it was yesterday being seventeen years old and standing in his office crying while John and your Dad argued and schemed and made the decisions that ultimately cost you your first love, his son Sam.

“Sit down Son.” John said quietly without looking up. He finished what he was doing before staring long and hard at his son. “So what do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I screwed up. I shouldn’t have been driving. Molly means nothing to me, she’s just an easy lay. I want…..“

John was out of his chair in a flash and his hands slammed down on the top of his desk. "No, Sam. Now we are going to talk about what I want. I want you to get your act together. I want you to start using that fancy college education I paid a fortune for. I want you to take an interest in the company I worked so hard to build. I am going to talk to Judge MacLeod and see if I can keep you out of jail. If I can, your going to owe me BIG. And I plan to collect. Do we understand each other?”

“Yeah.” Sam said curtly, glaring at his father. 

“You can go.” John said dismissively.

You were sitting at your Dad’s desk flipping through the large pile of unpaid bills you had found in the drawer. Many of them said “Final Notice.” You were overcome with guilt because you had no idea things had gotten so bad. You had barely spent any time in Lawrence since you had left all those years ago.

“Y/N?” Amy poked her head in the door. “Meghan invited me to sleep over tonight. Can you call her Mom?”

“Sure Kiddo.” You smiled at her. She was wise beyond her years and had handled the accident and funeral remarkably well. Amy was tall for her age, all legs and elbows. Her brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she had just gotten braces. Despite the fact that you didn’t visit Lawrence much you always kept in touch.

You had just dropped Amy off at Meghan’s when you realized you had an entire night to yourself. A cold beer sounded wonderful to you right now. You headed to the bar in the center of town that everyone hung out at. Pete’s was kind of a dive, but the food was great and the beer was cheap.

Waving to Pete behind the bar, you grabbed your beer and headed off to a quiet table in the corner. You were so lost in thought you didn’t realize that someone had sat down across from you. “Hey Y/N. I heard you were back.” Sam said.

“What do you want Sam?” you said quietly.

“Oh I want lots of things. But I would settle for one. The truth. What happened? Why did you leave? Why did you stop taking my calls?” Sam whispered.

“That was a long time ago.” You answered, before throwing some money on the table. “I can’t do this with you.”

Sam grabbed your wrist. “Please don’t go.”

You ran from the bar, determined that no matter what, you weren’t going to let Sam Winchester see you cry.

John sat in Judge Fergus MacLeod’s spacious living room enjoying a glass of whiskey. They had discussed Sam’s latest escapade, and Fergus was willing to knock it down to probation for his friend, if John made a generous donation to his reelection campaign.

John had spent the last twenty minutes telling Fergus about the plan he had come up with to right the wrong he had committed nine years ago and to fix his son’s life. 

Fergus listened intently until John finished. “Brilliant, quite brilliant. But they will never go for it.” 

“What choice do they have?” John questioned. “Sam will do it or he will go to jail and I will disown him. Y/N has no way of paying me back the money her father owes me. They will do it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Your encounter with Sam last night at Pete’s had really shaken you up. You knew it was only a matter of time before the two of you crossed paths in a town this small. You would have liked nothing better than to have given Sam what he wanted and tell him why you had left so abruptly 9 years go without saying goodbye.

It had killed you not to answer any of his frantic phone calls, but your Dad had forbidden you from contacting him. So you left Lawrence behind you, went off to college and never looked back. You thought of Sam constantly, but you knew that if you heard his voice you would break and tell him everything, and it would be all over.

The minute Sam had seen you at Pete’s he was eighteen again. Your hair was longer, cut into a chin length bob and you wore more makeup than you did back then. You were as beautiful as he remembered. 

You seemed more comfortable in your own skin than you did at seventeen. He knew from memory that when you smiled at him your smile would light up the room, but then he’d remembered your parents had just died.

The anger he’d thought he had buried so deeply came screaming to the surface the minute he sat down across from you and looked into your eyes. He’d sworn he’d seen tears there.

You had run out of Pete’s like the Devil himself was chasing you, and drove right home. Sitting in the driveway, you thought about how the years had changed Sam. If anything he was even taller, and he had filled out nicely. His hair was even longer than you remembered. You had always loved running your fingers though his thick hair. You found it strangely calming

Tomorrow was your meeting with John Winchester and you had nothing useful to offer. Unless you won the lottery in the next 24 hours there was no way you were gonna be able to pay back all the money.

So you were going to do something you would rather die than do. Humble yourself in front of John. Beg if you had to. Ask him to give you time to sell the house and the business and anything else of any value. Yes this was Amy’s home, but the two of you had to eat.

When you slept that night your dreams were filled with dimples and hazel eyes. But you had made a promise to your Dad, and you intended to keep it. There was no point in saying anything now. Too much time had passed and you couldn’t go back.

Sam had tossed and turned all night. His mind kept taking him back to that summer when you were seventeen and he was eighteen. You were young and in love and planning your future together. And then you were gone. All he had gotten was a message saying you had decided to study abroad for a year.

All his phone calls and letters went unanswered. He had shown up on your parent’s doorstep. A visibly pregnant Mrs. Singer had answered the door and invited him in.

“Congratulations.” Sam stammered.

“Our empty nest baby, I call her.” Mrs. Singer said, rubbing her belly. “I’m sorry Sam, but Y/N doesn’t want to talk to you. You need to let her go.”

Sam wiped the tears from his eyes as he ran down the porch steps. Karen Singer watched him from the window, her face troubled.

Your palms were sweating as you sat in John Winchester’s reception area. His dragon of a receptionist kept shooting you dirty looks when she thought you weren’t looking. Bitch.

“Mr. Winchester will see you now.“ She muttered, gesturing toward the door.

Trying to shake off the lingering feeling of impending doom, you held your head high as you entered. John was sitting at his desk, and Dean was standing next to him.

“Hello Y/N. I am so sorry about your parents. Your father was a good man.” John murmured sympathetically.

“He was a good man.” You agreed. “But he was a horrible businessman.” You turned to Dean. “Hey Dean. Congrats on landing Donna. She’s too good for you.” You said, smiling slightly. 

“Yes, she is.” Dean agreed. “She tells me all the time.”

“So you are aware how much your father owed me?” John interrupted..

“If you’ll give me a little time, I plan to sell the salvage yard and the house. Would you be willing to accept a payment plan?” You asked hopefully.

“No.” John said. Dean looked surprised.

“I have a proposition for you…” John began.

“Let me stop you right there.. you’re not my type and your too old for me.” You said immediately.

“Not that kind of proposition, young lady.” John frowned.

The office door opened and Sam walked in, looking confused. “Dad, Dean? Why is Y/N here? What’s going on?”

“Y/N, I am willing to completely forgive your father’s debt.” John stated, ignoring his son for the moment.

“And your doing this out of the kindness of your heart?” You said sarcastically.

John’s mouth turned up in a small smile. “I’m a businessman. I never do anything if it doesn’t benefit me somehow.”

“So what’s the catch?” You asked suspiciously.

“You and Sam have to get married.” John said quietly.

Sam’s mouth had fallen open in shock. He tried to talk but no words came out. Dean looked like someone had clocked him in the head with a 2 X 4. He looked at Sam. then at you, then back at Sam.

You on the other hand found your words easily enough. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?!?”


	4. Chapter 4

John was actually smiling, as though he was enjoying this. “Fine. Let’s hear your conditions.”

You took a deep breath to steady your nerves. The eyes of all three Winchester men were on you. “If you want us to have a REAL wedding, your paying for it. Also, I would like a little time to at least try to make this appear normal for Amy. She’s a smart kid. If I tell her I’m marrying a guy she has seen me with exactly one time, she will know something is up.”

“Fine. Anything else?” John asked.

“I’m just getting started. If we have to live together, then we live in a neutral place. Not the Singer house, and definitely not the Winchester compound. We buy something new away from both. And your paying for that too.” You stared at John defiantly.

A ghost of a smile appeared on John’s face. “Agreed.”

This time you looked over at Sam. “The past is the past. Don’t ask me again why I left. I don’t want to talk about it. Also, this marriage of convenience is in name only. You father may be able to force me to marry you, but he can’t force me to sleep with you. Are we clear?”

“Now wait a minute…..” Sam began.

“Take it or leave it. Or would you rather go to prison?” You asked.

“Fine, dammit!” He snapped angrily.

You looked back at John. “And last but not least, once we are married, you need to BUTT OUT. I’ll serve my time, but I don’t want you sticking your nose in my marriage like you do everything else. Got it?”

“You definitely aren’t the girl you used to be, are you?” John asked.

“I grew up. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes” John said firmly. If truth be told he was rather impressed with your bargaining skills.

The wedding was scheduled for three months away so Sam and you could “date” and Amy could get comfortable with him. The three of you went to the movies and to the fair. Sam took you out to dinner and picked Amy up from soccer practice. You cooked for the three of you and Amy introduced Sam as “My sister’s boyfriend”.

The two of you had decided that after two months of this you would get engaged, and tell Amy. Dean and Donna had been in on it from the beginning. This way it wouldn’t seem so rushed to Amy, and hopefully everyone else.

Sam came over for pizza one night when he said to Amy, “I have something I want to talk to you two about.”

“Sure. What’s up?” Amy said, her mouth full of pizza.

“So I have known Y/N since we were in high school. She was my girlfriend back then. And when she came back I realized I wanted her to be my girlfriend again. But now that we are grownups I’ve realized I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” He pulled out a small black box and got down on one knee. “Y/N Singer, will you marry me?”

So this was it. Your wedding day. On the outside it seemed real, but in your heart you knew it was all fake. Sam was marrying you to stay out of prison, and you were marrying him to settle a debt. Great way to start a life together.

“You okay, Y/N?” Donna asked. She was lovely in her dark purple matron of honor dress. She was holding Amy’s hand, who looked adorable in her purple dress. She was the flower girl. She was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Yeah.” You sighed. You wished your parents were here, even if it was all for show.

“You look beautiful!” Amy said enthusiastically.

“Thanks Sweetie, so do you!”

When it was time, you and Sam got up in front of the minister and promised to love each until death. You sent up a silent prayer of apology to your Dad, because you knew he was rolling in his grave. He had hated the Winchesters, Sam most of all.

When the minister told Sam he could kiss his bride, Sam ran his hand along the edge of your jaw and tilted your face up to his. His eyes were burning with emotion. His lips were feather soft as they brushed across yours.

You were the one who threw your arms around him and deepened the kiss. “Let’s make sure your father gets his money’s worth.” You whispered. Sam pulled away immediately.

You smiled and chatted with people until you were exhausted. When it was finally time for you to go you were so relieved. John had insisted that you and Sam go on a honeymoon. Both of you had tried to talk him out of it but he couldn’t be swayed. Dean and Donna were watching Amy for the week.

The beachfront villa in Barbados was beautiful. You and Sam spent many hours talking, and after a week you left hopeful that you and Sam could at least be friends. Maybe the next three years wouldn’t be so bad after all. While you were gone John had movers pack up all your and Amy’s stuff and take it to the house he had purchased for you.

You were so excited to see Amy you practically ran up Dean and Donna’s driveway. Amy and Sarah were coloring at the kitchen table. “Y/N! Sam! Your home! I missed you guys!” Amy said as she hugged you both. “Did you have fun? Did you take pictures? Did you bring me anything?”

“Whoa Kiddo! Slow down! Yes and yes. Why don’t you get your stuff together?” Sam suggested.

“Hey Y/N. Good to have you back!” Donna said, hugging you. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I think Amy might be coming down with something. She slept a lot while she was here, and she was running a low-grade fever the whole time. And she had two really bad nosebleeds. It was weird. Her glands are really swollen. You might want to take her to the doctor.” Donna told you.

“Oh, Okay. I will make an appointment tomorrow. Thanks for letting me know.” You replied.

You were able to get Amy an appointment early the next morning with the pediatrician. You described the symptoms that Donna had shared. You also mentioned the strange bruises you had noticed on Amy’s legs. The doctor decided to order some STAT bloodwork and said he would call you as soon as he had the results.

Later the office called. “Mrs. Winchester? Amy’s bloodwork is back. Dr. Collins wants you to come to the office right away. He needs to speak with you immediately.

Your heart was in your throat as you drove to the office. Sam was at work. He had started working with his Dad after the wedding. They ushered you into a room as soon as you got there. Dr. Collins came right in. 

“Mrs. Winchester, I am very concerned with Amy’s symptoms and bloodwork. I pulled some strings and gotten her an appointment tomorrow morning with Dr. Harvelle, one of the best pediatric oncologists in the state. I believe your sister has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia.”


	5. Chapter 5

You couldn’t explain why you didn’t tell Sam what was going on. You were still getting the hang of this fake marriage thing. It was like a real marriage in many aspects, except you weren’t having sex. At dinner that night, all you said is that Dr. Collins wanted to run some tests the next day.

“Is everything okay?” Sam asked in between bites of meatloaf.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Am I going to miss the whole day?” Amy asked. “I’m supposed to give my book report to the class tomorrow.”

“I think just the morning, Sweetie.” You reassured her.

“Do you want me to come too?” Sam asked.

“I think I can manage. If I need you, I’ll call I promise. Besides, I don’t want to give your Dad any reason to think your a slacker.” You joked.

“I’m a reformed slacker.” He responded.

You were trying to act as normal as possible, because you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling your lives were going to change forever tomorrow.

Dr. Ellen Harvelle was the best Pediatric Oncologist in the state. She had already reviewed Amy Singer’s bloodwork, and after examining her, she was sure of the diagnosis. She had a nurse bring Amy and Y/N into her office to talk.

“Amy, you have what’s called Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, or ALL. Your bone marrow, the stuff inside your bones is making to many white blood cells. That’s what making you so tired, and giving you the bruises and nosebleeds.”

Amy started to cry. “Am I going to die?” She whispered.

“No, honey. Luckily this is very treatable. We will need to do something called a bone-marrow transplant. We are going to get rid of your bad bone marrow and swap it out for someone else’s good bone marrow. We need to find someone who is a match for you. Usually parents are a good choice, but since yours are gone will test Y/N. If she isn’t, we have a list of people we can try. You will be sick for a while, but you will get better. Do you understand?”

“Will I have to miss school?” Amy questioned.

“Yes, you will miss some.” Dr. Harvelle replied.

“We will get you a tutor, Sweetie.” You promised.

“I have a list of tests Amy needs to get done. We also need to get you tested to see if your a match.”

“Amy Honey, can you go have a seat in the waiting room for a minute? I need to talk to the doctor.”

“Okay.” Amy got up and headed to the waiting room.

“Doctor Harvelle, I need to tell you something. No one knows this, especially not Amy……” 

“You will call me?” Dr. Harvelle said.

“Yes. I’m going to take care of it today.” You said quietly.

After dropping Amy off, you sat in the parking lot of the elementary school, your head resting on the steering wheel.

“I don’t think I can do this.” You whispered. But you had to. You had no choice. This was Amy’s life. You allowed yourself 15 minutes for a good cry, and cursed out your father for putting you in this position. Wiping your eyes and firm in your resolve, you headed to find Sam.

You managed to sneak past the dragon lady and find Sam in his office. He was talking to Dean. “Y/N, is everything all right?” He asked.

“Dean, can you give us a minute? I need to talk to Sam in private.” You asked quietly.

“Sure. No problem. I’ll be in my office if you need me.” Dean commented before walking out.

“Can we sit?” You asked.

Sam sat at his desk and gestured for you to sit in the chair in front of his desk. “So what’s going on?”

You sighed deeply. “Amy is sick, Sam. Very sick. She has leukemia. She needs a bone marrow transplant. The doctor said they need to find a donor who is a match, and usually a parent is the best shot, and a family member is second.”

“Okay.”

“I need to get tested……..and so do you…” You whispered.

“Wait, what?” Sam said softly.

You walked around the desk and put your hand on Sam’s arm. “Amy isn’t my sister, Sam. She’s my daughter, she’s OUR daughter. She’s the reason I left 9 years ago.”


	6. Chapter 6

Every ounce of color drained from Sam’s face, leaving it stark white. “We have a daughter? Amy is my daughter? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to Sam, believe me. But my Mother figured out I was pregnant before I did, and she told my Dad, and he told your Dad. Your Dad thought you were too young to have a baby and ruin your whole life. He wanted me to give Amy up for adoption. I refused.”

“So why does she think you’ve her sister?” Sam demanded angrily.

You took a deep breath before continuing. “My Mom had always wanted another child. So they decided I would leave town, and my Mom would pretend to be pregnant. And after the baby was born they would raise it as my sister, and I would go to college. Your father made me swear to never contact you again and to never tell you about the baby. I didn’t come back to Lawrence, it was just too painful.”

“You could have told me later, I would have helped you!” Sam said bitterly.

You rounded on him, eyes flashing. “What do you want me to say, Sam? I was seventeen, pregnant and alone.. Your Dad and mine ganged up on me and scared me to death. I did what I was told. Do you have any idea the burden I’ve had to carry all these years? I never wanted to leave you.”

“It’s time my Dad and I had a little chat!” Sam growled, grabbing you by the hand and pulling you out the door.

Sam dragged you down the hallway, his long legs causing you to have to practically run to keep up. He barged into John’s office without knocking, ignoring Billie’s protests. John and Dean were deep in conversation when Sam entered with you in tow.

Sam dropped your hand and walked up to his Father. “You Son-of-a-Bitch! What were you thinking?”

“What’s wrong, Sammy?” Dean asked. Sam ignored him.

“Amy is sick, Dad. She has leukemia. She needs a bone marrow transplant. Y/N told me everything. How could you? We were in love. I would have married her!” Sam was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles were white,

“I know you would have. That’s what I was afraid of.” John said sadly. “You were eighteen years old, why should you spend your whole life paying for one little mistake? So I took care of it! The way I take care of it every time you screw up!” John looked furious, the veins in his neck standing out.

“By sending away the girl I loved to have our baby alone? By breaking my heart? I haven’t been the same since that summer! What were you and Bobby thinking? Making Y/N carry this secret around for all these years? That’s just cruel!”

“Well if you hadn’t screwed this little townie just to piss me off none of this would have happened.” John whispered angrily.

Before anyone could respond, Sam had lunged at his father, and decked him with a hard right hook. John went down flat on his back. Dean looked at his brother in shock. Sam grabbed your hand and pulled you from the office and out the door to his car. 

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“Home. It’s time to tell Amy who her real parents are.” Sam stated firmly.

“Wait, what? I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sam. She just found out she has cancer. That’s a lot of information for one day.” You reasoned.

“The longer we wait and don’t tell her, the worse it will be. She’s going to be angry no matter what. I’m not going another day without her knowing I’m her Father, Y/N”.

“Okay.” You whispered meekly.

When Amy got home from school, both of you were waiting for her. “Hey Sweetie. Can you come in here? Sam and I need to talk to you for a minute.” You called.

Amy came into the kitchen. “Am I in trouble?” She asked.

“No, nothing like that.” Sam replied. “We need to tell you some news that I just found out today. So sit down. Remember how I told you that Y/N and I were boyfriend and girlfriend back in high school?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.” Amy replied.

“Well I just found out that before Y/N left for college, she was going to have a baby, my baby.”

Amy’s eyes shot over to you in surprise.

You took over the narrative. “But Mom and Dad thought I was too young to have a baby, so they look the baby to raise and told her I was her “sister”.”

Amy’s eyes suddenly got wide with understanding.

“What we’re saying is YOU are that baby, Amy. Sam and I are your real Mother and Father. Sam didn’t know about you until today.” You said softly.

“But you knew.” Amy said quietly. “Even after Mom and Dad died, you knew and you still didn’t tell me. Why Y/N?”

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. “I don’t know, truthfully. I had kept the secret for so long. I was afraid Sam would find out. I had been your “sister” for so long I didn’t know if I was ready to be your mother. Any number of reasons. But mostly because I was scared. I’m so sorry Amy.”

Sometime during the conversation, both you and Amy had begun to cry. Amy got up abruptly and ran from the table. You heard her bedroom door slam.

“Let’s give her some time to process this.” Sam murmured as he pulled you to his chest and you sobbed as though your heart was breaking.

Your crying jag had worn you out and Sam had laid you on the couch and you fell asleep. Your nap was interrupted by Sam shaking you awake. “Amy’s gone!”

“Gone? What do you mean gone?” You said, instantly awake.

“I went to talk to her and her room is empty. She’s not in the house anywhere. Her duffle bag is gone, and some of her stuff is missing!”


	7. Chapter 7

You tried not to panic as you called Amy’s friends looking for her. Sam went over to the salvage yard to see if maybe she had snuck over there to think. He came back alone.

“She’s not there. What should we do?” Sam asked worriedly.

“She’s not at any of her friends' houses. I called them all. Maybe we should call Sheriff Mills. I think we made a mistake Sam. Maybe we shouldn’t have told her.” You weren’t able to hold the tears back anymore and they poured down your cheeks.

“We’ll find her, Y/N,” Sam said as he wiped your tears with his thumb.

Sam’s cell phone rang, startling you both..

“It’s Dean.”

“Hey, Dean. I really can’t talk right now, we can’t find Amy. What?? When? Are you sure? Thanks, man, we were frantic. I owe you one.”

Sam hung up, clearly relieved. “Amy is at Dean and Donna’s. Dean saw her walking and picked her up. She wants to stay there for the weekend. She’s pretty upset.”

You sagged with relief. “Oh thank God she’s okay!”

“l don’t know about you, but I could sure use a beer after the day we’ve had! Want one?” Sam asked you.

“Sure.”

The two of you sat in the living room, beers in hands. “I still can’t believe I have a nine-year-old daughter,” Sam commented. “Now that I know I can see it. She’s tall like me, her hair is the same color, and she has my dimples. But she has your eyes and your beautiful smile.”

You reached down and took his hand.

“I am so sorry Sam, for everything. For not telling you sooner, for denying you your daughter. I never wanted to leave you. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” You confessed sadly.

“You were just going along with our Dads. I know you were scared. I meant what I said before. I would have married you if I had known. We could have raised Amy together.”

“We were so young ourselves. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. Your father in his own twisted way was trying to give you the best life he could.“ You whispered.

“Everything went downhill after I lost you. I didn’t care what happened to me. That’s when I started getting in trouble because that’s when I stopped caring.” Sam confessed.

You weren’t sure how you ended up there, but in the next instant, you were in Sam’s lap. His big hands held you around the waist tightly as his mouth ravaged yours.

Moving your legs to either side of Sam’s lap so you were straddling him, you felt his hard arousal. Sam’s lips were fastened on your neck, sucking a dark mark onto your skin.

You had lost your virginity to Sam Winchester. Sam at eighteen was tall but hadn’t reached his full height. He was muscular but hadn’t yet developed the amazing body he had now. Sam Winchester at eighteen made your heart skip a beat. Sam at twenty-seven took your breath away.

Sam stood suddenly, with you still wrapped around him. You locked your legs around his waist, and his hands held you tight as he walked towards his bedroom, kissing you the whole way. 

In a brief moment of clarity, you tore your lips from Sam’s, gasping for breath. 

“What about our marriage of convenience?” You asked.

Sam pulled your chin up until he was looking deep into your eyes. “It’s CONVENIENT for me to make love to my WIFE, the Mother of my child, the woman I’ve been in love with since I was eighteen.” He whispered.

You leaned up and pressed your lips to his in assent. Sam smiled a beautiful dimpled smile and carried you into his room.

He laid you on his bed, his large body covering yours as he kissed you into a pliant, moaning mess. You ran your fingers through Sam’s hair, noting how much longer it was than when he was younger. You tugged gently on his hair and he moaned into your mouth. You had forgotten that Sam liked having his hair pulled.

“I have dreamed about this, about you for nine years,” Sam whispered.

You worshiped every inch of Sam’s beautiful body, kissing every spot you could reach. You ran your hand over the long, long length of him. “Wow, your hairs not the only thing that’s grown since you were eighteen.” You teased.

“I could say the same thing about these.” Sam had removed your shirt and bra and his hands caressed your breasts, followed by his lips.

“Sam sucked hard on your nipples, sending heat straight to your core, and his long fingers entered you, rubbing your clit and stretching you to receive him. You bucked against him as the pressure inside you began to build.

“Missed this, Sam. Need you now!” You moaned hoarsely.

You felt the thick head of Sam’s cock pressing into you. Your muscles burned as your walls stretched to accommodate him. When he was fully seated in you, he leaned his forehead against yours, trying to catch his breath. You kissed him deeply and moved up against him.

“Oh Y/N, don’t think I’ll last if you do that,” Sam whispered.

Wrapping your legs around his back, you held on as Sam began to fuck you at a bruising pace. You had forgotten that Sam liked it rough. 

“Ahh Y/N, I can’t……I’m gonna…..” Sam groaned.

Sam came with a growl, burying his face in your neck. You followed a moment later, screaming your pleasure, and later you fell asleep wrapped in Sam’s arms.

Amy came back on Sunday teary and apologetic. She said she was sorry for leaving but she felt overwhelmed by everything. She said that she loved them both, but for now, she couldn’t think of them as her parents because she felt like she was being disloyal to Bobby and Karen. You hugged her and said you understood.

The next two weeks were filled with test after test for Amy. She tolerated the poking and prodding without much complaint. Sam got tested to see if he was a match for Amy for the bone marrow transplant. They had an appointment on Friday to go over everything and discuss Amy’s treatment plan.

Friday morning breakfast was subdued. Sam was skipping work to take the two of you to the doctor. He hadn’t even bothered to tell John he wouldn’t be in. Things between John and him had been very strained since he had decked John in his office.

Dean had known nothing about Amy being Sam’s daughter, and he had been helpful and supportive, so Sam had no beef with him or Donna.

Dr. Harvelle came I after a short wait. “You must be Sam.” She said, offering her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You too,” Sam said.

“So…. I have all the results of Amy’s and both of your tests…” She began.

“And?” You asked impatiently.

“Well, I have some good news and some bad news.” The Doctor replied.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the flow of the story I have changed aspects of Amy's treatment and the timeline.

Dr. Harvelle shuffled her papers. “Y/N you are not a match for Amy’s bone marrow, but luckily Sam is. We won’t have to go to the registry. That will save us time.”

“What do I have to do?” Sam asked.

“It’s a fairly straightforward procedure. You will be given anesthesia, and the bone marrow will be drawn through small needles from the back of your pelvic bone. It’s relatively painless. But before we even get to that you will have to have some other tests.“ Dr. Harvelle told him.

“I don’t care what it takes, I’ll do it.” Sam stated emphatically.

“So what’s the bad news?” You asked nervously.

“Amy has a very rare type of Leukemia. It’s called Burkitt Leukemia. It only makes up 4% of all cases of ALL diagnosed. It’s very agressive. We need to start treatment right away.”

Dr. Harvelle began so explain to us what Amy’s treatment would entail. High dose chemotherapy to kill off her own bone marrow. Infusion of Sam’s marrow. Amy’s immunity would be severely weakened and she would have to stay in isolation. 

Amy was getting a very nervous look on her face. This was suddenly very scary, and very real.

The next two months passed in a blur. Sam had completed all his testing and was getting ready to donate his marrow.

Amy had been receiving high dose chemotherapy for a week now. Her hair had begun to fall out, so Dean had come with his clippers and given her a buzz cut.

“Do I look like Uncle Dean?” She asked Donna.

“You sure do, Baby.” Donna responded cheerfully.

“Maybe you should give Dad a buzz cut too!” Amy joked.

“I’ve been wanting to for years, believe me kiddo.” Dean said with a grin.

Even as sick as the drugs made her, she hadn’t lost her sense of humor.

You hadn’t noticed exactly when she’d started calling you Mom and Dad, but you went with it.

Amy was about to go into weeks of isolation, so this was the last time Dean and Donna would get to see her for a while. You and Sam would be the only ones who could see her, and it had to be seperately.

You were limited to 2 60 min sessions per day. You were required to be masked, and gowned. If you showed any signs of sickness, you were out.

“Love you, Baby. We can still Face Time. Sarah misses you. We’ll see you soon.” Donna hugged Amy tightly, and left the room before Amy saw her cry.

“You got this, Kiddo.” Dean whispered, kissing her on top of her fuzzy head. “I better go check on Aunt Donna.” Dean slipped out quietly.

“Can you guys come sit with me? I’m scared.” Amy said in a small voice.

You and Sam climbed into bed with her, one on each side, and the two of you just held her until she fell asleep.

Sam donated his marrow the next day. Everything went fine. He was tired after the procedure, and slept most of the day. The next morning he was a little sore but other than that he felt fine.

When Donna called and asked me if I wanted to go out for a girls night, I almost said no. I was exhausted.

“You should go.” Sam told me. “You’ve been so focused on Amy. Go relax and have some fun. I’ll just hang out here.”

“Donna said Dean invited you over. Why aren’t you going?“ You asked him. He didn’t answer.

“Sam???” You demanded.

“My Dad’s going to be there.” He muttered.

You sat down next to him and took his hand in yours. “This thing with you and John has to stop. Make your peace with him. Forgive him, Sam. We’re together, we have Amy, it all worked out. It’s time.”

He sighed with frustration. “It’s not that easy, Y/N. He knew how unhappy I was, and he did nothing. He lied to me for 9 years! He cost me you and my daughter. I just need some time.”

“Well now we’re together, and it’s all because of him.” You said sincerely.

“Because he blackmailed both of us. Don’t make him out to be the hero.” Sam was pretty bitter. He kissed you gently. “GO. Have fun. Stop worrying about me.”

“Fine, I’ll go. But don’t think we are done talking about this, Mr. Winchester.” You warned.

Sam pulled you to him, kissing you hungrily this time. “I like it when you call me Mr. Winchester.” He growled.

You met Donna at Pete’s. Sam was right, it was nice to get out. Donna had a beer waiting.

“Bless you sister.” You giggled. “Wanna split an order of super chili cheese fries? I’m starving.”

The two of you chatted about everything that wasn’t hospitals, or Leukemia. About half way through the cheese fries you got a strange look on your face and bolted from the table.

You returned a few minutes later, looking a little worse for the wear. “You okay?” Donna asked warily.

“I threw up. I hope I’m not coming down with something. Then I won’t be able to see Amy.”

“Has this happened before?” Donna asked.

“Yeah, twice. But those times were in the morning.”

Donna leaned in close, lowering her voice. “Just out of curiosity, when was your last period?”

“My last……..why would that……Oh SHIT.“ You whispered as comprehension dawned.”

“I’ll be back in five minutes.” Donna jumped up quickly.

“Where are you going?” You asked, confused.

“To the drug store across the street. Be right back.” Donna ran out the door.

Within 5 minutes, she was back. She slid a bag across the table. “Go, do it now!” She demanded.

With a sigh, you grabbed the bag and headed to the bathroom. You were back in a flash. “Well?” Donna asked.

“Five minutes.” You replied.

You handed the box to Donna. “I can’t look.”

After what seemed like an eternity, Donna pulled out the stick and showed it to you. Before you could say anything, your phone rang.

“Y/N? It’s Dean. Donna’s not answering her phone, neither is Sam. Where is everyone?”

“Donna’s right here. What’s wrong, Dean?”

“It’s Dad. He had a heart attack. Get Sam and meet us at the hospital.”


	9. Chapter 9

As you hung up the phone, Donna saw the shock on your face. “What’s wrong?” She asked worriedly.

“That was Dean. You weren’t answering your phone. John had a heart attack. We need to go.” You answered quickly.

Donna flagged down the waitress, and you grabbed the pregnancy test stick still sitting on the table and threw it in your purse. “I need to tell Sam. Dean couldn’t reach him either. We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

Sam was asleep in front of the TV. He looked so peaceful you didn’t want to wake him. Gently shaking his shoulder, you called his name. “Sam? You need to wake up, Baby.“

“You’re back already? Did you have fun?” He asked sleepily.

“Dean called me because he couldn’t reach you. Your Dad had a heart attack, Sam. We need to go to the hospital.” You told him softly. 

Sam was instantly wide awake. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know. Dean didn’t say. Come on, I’ll drive. Luckily they took him to County. Having John and Amy at the same place will make things simpler.“ Grabbing his shoes and a jacket, Sam followed you out the door.

Sam was very quiet on the car ride over. “I know what your thinking.” You said quietly, breaking the silence.

“Oh really? Well don’t keep me in suspense.” Sam teased.

“This isn’t your fault, so you can stop blaming yourself right now.”

“I’m sure the stress of us arguing didn’t help.” Sam muttered. “You told me to make my peace with him, but I was…..I am still so angry.”

“I get it Sam, I really do. I used to be so afraid of your father. I remember standing in his office when my Dad told him I was pregnant. He was so angry. I thought he would have hit me if my Dad wasn’t there.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.” Sam whispered.

You continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “And then I hated him, and I blamed him for the fact that I had lost you. And then I was angry. I was angry for so long, Sam. I let my anger keep me away from Lawrence, from Amy, from you.”

“And now?” Sam asked.

“Now I just feel sorry for John honestly.” You answered.

“Why?”

“Because I love you Sam. More than I even thought possible at 17. In the end, all of your Dad’s scheming just postponed the inevitable.”

No sooner had you pulled into the Emergency Room lot and parked the car than Sam was on you. He reached across the seat and pulled you in for a kiss that left you both breathless. “I never stopped loving you.” He declared, stroking your cheek.

“Dean and Donna will be wondering where we are.” You whispered.

Sam laced your fingers together as the two of you entered the ER. You immediately spotted Dean pacing in a corner, body rigid with tension. He barely looked up when the two of you entered.

“ Have you heard anything?” You asked Donna.

“Nothing yet. We’re just waiting.” She replied, patting the seat next to her. “Come sit down.”

Sam walked over to Dean and held up a hand. “Dude, stop pacing and talk to me. What happened?”

Dean let out the breath he had been holding and collapsed into a chair. “I had just put Sarah to bed. We were watching football. Dad asked how Amy was doing. I decided to try to talk to him about you and this damn fight the two of you were having.”

Sam snorted. “I bet THAT went well.”

Dean rubbed a hand over his face. “Dad doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He feels like he saved you from making the biggest mistake of your life.”

“But at what cost?” Sam asked sadly.

“The conversation got pretty heated. Dad got up to get another beer and he just collapsed. Dammit Sammy, why couldn’t you just forgive him? You got Y/N, you got Amy, it all worked out!” Sam and Dean were standing toe to toe now, in each others faces.

“So this is my fault???” Sam said angrily. Other people had started to stare.

Donna grabbed Dean’s arm, and you grabbed Sam’s, in an attempt to pull them apart. “Stop it, both of you! ” You hissed. “This isn’t helping!”

“The waiting room door opened and a doctor stepped out. ” Mr. Winchester?“

Four pairs of eyes stopped and turned his way.

The doctor was about to speak when a panicked voice burst out over the loudspeaker. “Code 9 Emergency Room. Code 9 Emergency Room.” The doctor turned and ran back through the door.

Several staff members entered the ER running at top speed as another page went out. “Anesthesia STAT to the ER! Anesthesia STAT to the ER!”

“Oh no….” Donna whispered. The doctor didn’t come back.


	10. Chapter 10

The four of you waited an eternity for someone to update you on John’s condition. So long that you fell asleep in Sam’s lap. Sam stroked your hair gently as you slept, a soft smile on his face.

A nurse came to the door and said, “Winchester?” 

“Time to wake up, Babe. We gotta go.” Sam whispered in your ear.

“I wasn’t sleeping.” You murmured, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.

Sam grinned at you. “Sure you weren’t.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you along behind Dean and Donna. The nurse directed you to a small room that had a table and a set of chairs and she motioned you to sit. 

“The doctor will be along in a minute to speak to you.” she said, closing the door. The four of you sat there quietly, wrapped in your own thoughts. A moment later the doctor entered and sat down.

“Hi folks. I’m Dr. Sanchez, I am a Neurologist on staff here. So Mr. Winchester is your…..?”

“Dad.” Sam and Dean said together.

“Of course. Your Dad has suffered a serious stroke. He stopped breathing at one point so we were forced to entubate him. We finally got him stabilized. He is going to be having a Cat scan and some other tests and then he is being admitted to the ICU. Do you have any questions?”

“Is he going to be okay?” Sam asked quietly.

“I’ll be able to tell you more after I see some of the test results.” Dr. Sanchez replied. “It’s going to be a few hours before he is settled in his room. If you need to leave for a bit. Now would be a good time.”

The doctor left and the four of you began to talk amongst yourselves. “You should go, Babe.” Dean said to Donna. “Sarah will be up soon, and Mrs. Johnson was nice enough to watch her spur-of-the-moment, but she has to get to work.”

“I’m going to go grab a quick shower and then go see Amy. Do you want to come with me?” You asked Sam. He nodded.

“I’m gonna run to the office and make sure everything is okay there. So we will meet back here later?” Dean asked, and everyone agreed.

“Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute outside?” Donna asked.

“Sure.” you said as you followed her into the hall. “What’s up?”

Donna grabbed your purse and pulled out the stick. With everything going on, you had forgotten about it. She waved it in front of your face, and the black word PREGNANT flashed in front of you. “Now’s not exactly the best time, Donna.”

“You’d better tell him before I accidentally slip up and say something to Dean. You know I can’t keep a secret to save my life!” She replied with a laugh.

“Don’t I ever! Remember that time I liked Pete Mitchell……” You began.

“Oh don’t remind me!” She called over her shoulder as she walked out. 

Sam was quiet on the drive home. “I’m starting to feel like I live at that hospital.”

“I know, right? They will be naming a wing after us at the rate we’re going.” You said, trying to lighten the mood.

“We can’t seem to catch a break.” Sam said sadly. “First Amy, now Dad.”

Reaching into your purse next to you, you rummaged around until your hand closed over the stick. “So how about some good news?” You whispered as you pulled the stick from your purse and offered it to Sam.

He just stared at it for a moment, and then he turned to you. “Are you sure?” He said in a dazed voice.

“Donna made me do this at the bar tonight, so yeah, I’m sure.”

You pulled into the driveway and Sam turned to you, tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe it. I missed out on everything with Amy. I can’t wait to see you round with my baby. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Sam. I can’t wait to tell Amy she’s gonna be a big sister!”

“When can we tell her?” He asked.

“It’s early yet. We should wait until I see the doctor. I will call and make an appointment.” You replied with a silly grin.

Amy was in good spirits despite feeling so bad.. The doctor said that her blood counts were rising nicely, and everything looked good. You had gotten a calendar which you had placed on the wall outside the isolation room where Amy could see it. You marked off each day with a big red “X” on the countdown to her discharge from isolation.

Amy had never met John, so you just mentioned casually that he was sick and in the same hospital as her.

“Does he have cancer like me?” Amy asked.

“No Baby. Well my hour is just about up. Dad is out there getting suited up for his hour. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You reached out and hugged your daughter, wincing as you felt the sharp points of her bones. She had gotten so thin. “I love you, Mom.” She whispered.

Your eyes welled up with tears. “I love you too, Baby. To the Moon and back.”

Several hours later everyone had taken care of things at home and came back to the hospital. The four of you headed up to the ICU. When you arrived, John’s nurse said that Dr. Sanchez needed to speak with you and that she would page him. Only two people could visit at a time so Sam and Dean went while you and Donna waited in the lounge. 

“We’ll come get you when the doctor comes.” Dean promised.

The doctor came in, and you could tell by his face that it wasn’t good news. “John’s stroke was caused by a brain hemorrhage. It was more extensive than we thought. He is in a coma. He’s going to be on the ventilator for a while. Does your father have a Living Will?

The four of you looked at each other blankly. “I don’t think so.” Dean said.

Sam rubbed his hands over his eyes tiredly “Is there any chance he can come back from this doctor?”

We’re going to have to see how he does over the next few days. I’m cautiously optimistic. I’ll keep you updated.” The doctor’s pager went off, and he excused himself and hurried out.

For the next week, your life consisted of running from one end of the hospital to the other, with small breaks in between of time at home. It was exhausting. Sam had told Dean that you were pregnant, and he was thrilled for the two of you. The doctors were thrilled with Amy’s progress. For the first time in a long time you were sure she was going to beat leukemia.

John’s condition didn’t change. He didn’t get any worse, but he didn’t get any better either. Sam had voiced his concern to you that John wasn’t going to recover from this, and you had begun to worry that he was right.

It was Friday, and you and Sam had decided to take a rare day off from the hospital. You had let Amy know in advance you wouldn’t be coming, and you just planned on relaxing and enjoying being together. When Sam’s phone had rung, the two of you had still been in bed. When he saw who it was, he’d answered it immediately.

“Hey Dean, what’s up? What? When? How bad? Okay, We’re coming.” He hung up and turned to you, already getting up. “Dad’s had another stroke. A bad one. We need to go now.”

When you and Sam arrived at the ICU, Dean was there but Donna was not. Sarah was running a temperature and had thrown up that morning, so Donna didn’t want to leave her, Dean had explained.

“So what’s going on?” Sam asked Dean.

“All I know is that Dad had another stroke. Dr. Sanchez is off today, but his partner, Dr. Monroe is in with him now. She will be out to talk to us when she is done with him.”

“It sounds bad?” You asked Dean. He nodded.

Dr. Monroe came in shortly after. Since no one else was in the room she closed the door and sat down to talk. “Okay, as we told Dean on the phone, John had another stroke early this morning. A bad one. We ran some tests. There is minimal brain activity, I’m sorry.”

“Minimal brain activity? What does that mean?” Sam asked.

“It means that the machines are what is keeping John alive right now. Since he did not have a Living Will, you have to decide what you want to do here. If you want we can leave things as they are, or we can turn the machines off, and let him pass away. I will give you some privacy to talk, and you can have one of the nurses page me when you know what you want to do.”

“There is NO chance he will recover? None?” Sam said to Dr. Monroe.

“There is barely any brain function, He isn’t going to get better, I’m sorry.”

When the doctor left, Sam, Dean and I just looked at each other for a minute. Then Dean spoke. “Dad may not have had a Living Will, but I know for a fact that he wouldn’t want this…….any of this. Machines keeping him alive so he can spent the next 20 years as a vegetable? NO! I say we pull the plug. Let him go. It’s what he would want.”

Sam looked at his brother in surprise. “Dean the body is capable of amazing things, miracles even. Dad is a fighter, he always has been. You don’t even want to give him the chance to get better? Doctors have been known to be wrong, they are only human!”

The next thing you know, Sam and Dean are out of their chairs and in each others faces, each of them yelling louder in an attempt to be heard over the other. Both of their faces were red, and they were starting to get angry. This could get ugly.

“Hey!” You said. They didn’t even hear you with how loud they were yelling. You stood on top of a chair and yelled as loud as you could. “HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!” They both stopped yelling and looked at you.

“What?” Dean said harshly.

“This isn’t helping.”

“He has his opinion and I have mine.” Sam said.

“So you be the tie-breaker!” Dean said suddenly. 

“Why me? Why not Donna?” You whined.

“She’s not here and she’s dealing with a barfing kid. Your in this family now too, Y/N. You’ve heard everything the doctors have said. What do you think we should do?” Dean asked you.

Green and hazel eyes were fixed intently on you, and you swallowed the huge lump in your throat. You thought about it for a moment, and realized you already knew your answer. You took a deep breath and opened your mouth to speak.


	11. Chapter 11

You opened Your mouth to speak, but no words came out. Two pairs of eyes, one green and one blue-green, stared at you, expecting you to have all the answers. Suddenly the tiny waiting room was closing in on you, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. 

You flashed back to a different hospital and a different waiting room. “I……I can’t do this!” You whispered in a choked voice before running from the room and fleeing down the hallway. You just needed to get outside and get some fresh air.

You made it as far as the little remembrance garden in from of the hospital before you fell to your knees and lost the entire contents of your stomach. That’s where Donna found you, still on the ground, weeping silently.

“Y/N! Are you okay? Why are you out here?” Donna asked quietly, rubbing your back.

You felt your stomach roll and you swallowed down nausea before speaking. “They want to pull the plug on John. He’s basically brain dead. Sam and Dean are arguing. They can’t agree on what to do. They wanted me to decide. I started flashing back to when my parents died and I had to make the decision to pull the plug on my Dad. Can you go talk to them please?”

“Wouldn’t you rather I stay with you?” Donna asked quietly.

“They need you now, Don. I’ll be fine…. I just need a few minutes.” 

“Well okay then,” Donna replied. She patted you once more and then headed inside.

When Donna entered the waiting room Sam and Dean were still arguing. They stopped abruptly when they saw her.

“Have you seen Y/N?” Sam asked worriedly. “I don’t know where she is.”

“Hey Baby, I didn’t think you were coming back. Who’s with Sarah?” Dean asked her.

Donna took a deep breath in an attempt not to lose her temper. It didn’t work. “Y/N is throwing up and crying. Did it EVER occur to you two IDIOTS that asking a pregnant woman who recently had to pull the plug on her OWN father to decide maybe wasn’t the best FREAKING idea??” Her voice had gotten louder and her face redder with each word.

Sam and Dean just looked at each other.

“Of course it didn’t!” Donna snapped. “Sam go see to your wife. She’s in the garden by the front door. She needs you right now. Dean can fill me in on what the doctor said. We will wait here for you.”

Sam nodded silently and went in search of his wife. When he found you were sitting on the bench and he could tell you had been crying. “I am SO sorry, Y/N. I’d forgotten what you went through with your own Dad. It was wrong of Dean and me to put this on you after everything you’ve been through.”

“Will you come back inside so we all can figure this out together?” Sam asked, standing up and holding out his hand to you. You stood up and took it, and together you walked back to find Dean and Donna.

When Dean saw you he immediately apologized. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Sammy and I are thoughtless jerks sometimes.”

You smiled at him. “It’s okay, Dean.

“So Dean filled me in on what the doctor said,” Donna said to the group. “I agree with him. John wouldn’t want to be kept alive by machines. I think it’s time to let him go.” She wiped a tear from her eye as she said this.

“I also agree with Dean. I went through this with my Dad. He isn’t going to get better. Why put him through that? I know in my heart he would tell us to let him go.” you whispered.

“Sammy?” Dean said quietly. “He knows you loved him. Forcing you two to get married was his way of trying to make amends for driving you apart. I know he regretted it.”

Sam was openly crying now. He put his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. “Let’s have them page Dr. Monroe and tell her we’ve made a decision.” He said quietly.

In the end, it happened very quickly. They let us all be in the room as they disconnected all the machines that were keeping John alive, except the heart monitor. Dean and Donna sat on one side of his bed, Sam and me on the other.

The silence was deafening. I took John’s hand in mine. “Thank you for making me marry Sam, John. I’m glad you realized that we belonged together. I know you and my Dad thought you were doing what was best for everyone when I got pregnant. I forgive you.” You stopped speaking as hot tears began to pour down your face. Sam squeezed your hand tightly.

Suddenly the heart monitor began to beep erratically. The number began to drop as the beats got further and further apart until they stopped altogether. A nurse came in, took his pulse, and told us he was gone.

Sam held you as you cried bitter tears for the man you had spent many years hating, but who had ultimately given you back the love of your life, even when you thought you didn’t want him anymore.


End file.
